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I’ve never had a strong opinion on Ellen, but that’s sort of her brand. She’s marketed to garner no strong opinions. She’s a scoop of vanilla or a mild cheddar. As easy listening as elevator music, as undistracting as the Fast & Furious face mask fuck Corona shirt.png and by the same token and glass in your windows. As the internet goads us into a polarized state, Ellen unifies us in an unconscious apathy. Nobody minds Ellen. She is the opposite of Marmite.

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